Nightmares
by Invisibilities
Summary: Lily's been having nightmares. Fluff that ends up smut.


She hadn't slept well in days. Lily sat still, staring blankly into the dimming fire before her. She had spent three nights in a row encountering the very same dream, so specific in their details that Lily could almost swear they were real: The first night, she'd cried so hard that she'd woken Marlene and Dorcas, who both rushed to her bedside, an act that only made Lily cry harder. The second night, Lily had awoken with such a fright as she hit the floor hard enough to cause bruises against her hip, having thrashed her way out of her bed whilst the rest of the dormitory's occupants stared on in shock. The third night, she had woken in such a cold, dripping sweat that she was saturated from head to toe, shivering madly and white as a sheet. She'd had no other choice but to shower and change: Doing so revealed a long string of bruises along Lily's back and sides, likely from several night's worth of thrashing.

The fourth night, Lily had decided that it wasn't at all worth trying to sleep, and had instead set herself up in the common room, busying her attention with books, hot cocoa and the warmth of the fire. However, as the night dragged on, and the common room emptied, Lily found it more and more difficult to concentrate on the words on the page. Before she knew it, her attention had waned, only captivated by the slowly flickering flames. Eventually, the book had slipped from her hands onto the floor, and her head had lulled onto the soft fabric of the sofa, and she had succumbed to her exhaustion.

_It was cold, and wet, and smelt of rust and mould and dirt. Lily was dressed in nothing but a long nightgown that felt as wet and sodden as the ground beneath her feet. As always, she fumbled, searching for her wand, but came up short. Wearily, she looked around, unable to see much at all through the darkness. Unsteadily, she stepped forward a few paces, squinting through the fog; the sound of a wolf bellowed through the night and Lily shivered, drawing her arms in around herself. She walked and walked and walked, seeing nothing except what seemed an endless fog, the only change being the smells, which grew stronger and stronger as she made her way forward. Her foot nudges something thin and light and Lily blinks, bending down to inspect it. Picking it up, Lily inspected the object with her thin fingers, surprised to find the familiar grain and polish of her own wand, sticky and wet from what Lily could only assume was the soaked earth. Eyebrows furrowed, Lily waved the wand gingerly and commands it with a simple incantation: _Lumos_. Light spills from the tip and she slowly extended it out at an arms reach. The ground glistens a deep burgundy underneath the wandlight and Lily's gaze extends slowly forward until she sees it: Her wand dropsed back to the ground, still lit, illuminating both her and the lifeless, bloody figure of James who lied glasses askew and eyes hauntingly wide several feet away. She stumbled backwards in surprise and she fell, landing onto the blood-soaked earth. Finally, Lily caught sight of herself, her white nightgown completely saturated in blood that she can only assume is his, and all she can do is scream._

"Lily? Lily! _LILY!" _

The sound of his voice jolts her out of her dream state and Lily's eyes snapped open: It's only then that she realises she's _really_ screaming. The sight of James turned the scream into more of a garbled sob, and she threw her arms around him in desperation, tears pouring freely from her eyes. Completely bewildered and intensely worried, James wrapped his arms around her tightly, rubbing her back soothingly. She does little but cry madly, hands balled into clenched fists as she clings to the back of his hastily-thrown-on robes. He stroked her hair softly, and hushes her quietly, all the while concerned as to exactly what had been capable of putting her into such a state. Slowly, her cries slow and turn to sniffles, and her breathing eventually calms. Pulling away from James with puffy eyes and rubs at her nose, James is able to see just how little colour remains in her face. Lily shuddered violently, chilled to the bone and soaked with cold sweat, and James furrowed his eyebrows.

"Lils, you're frozen." He commented, looking her over properly for the first time since having made his way into the common room. Her eyes are lifeless, surrounded by dark circles, only emphasised by her paler-than-usual complexion. Her fingernails had been bitten right down to the skin and her arms were littered with bruises small and large. He frowned deeply, wondering exactly what she'd been keeping from him.

"What's going on?" James questioned worriedly. Lily shuddered again and bites her lip, seemingly terrified at having to relive the nightmare again. James pushed a strand of long, red hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear, gently caressing her cheek in the process. She opens her mouth to speak but only a whimper escapes, and James frowned even further as tears litter her eyes once more. "No, no, no, don't cry, Lils. It's alright." She took a deep breath, calming herself once again, and looked at him with terrified eyes: Really looked at him, taking in every last inch of him as if it were the last chance she'd ever get to see him. He found himself shivering, unnerved by what exactly had been capable of so easily shaking the usually fearless Lily Evans.

As her teeth started chattering, Lily shifted, burying herself against James in some vain attempt to warm herself up. The sight of her just about shattered James's soul, and so it's without much thought at all that James slid his arms under her and lifted her up with relative ease, marching straight out of the common room. Normally, Lily would have kicked up a right fuss, kicking and screaming for him to put him down, all the while laughing playfully and hitting him over the arms. Yet, Lily did little more than curl into him, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly and burying her nose into the crook of his neck, her teeth still chattering rhythms. Not even stopping to think, James carried her towards the prefect's bathroom, intent on finally making sure she was warmed through.

James muttered the password, pushing the door open with his back and entered carefully, sure not to bump Lily against the doorframe. Gently, he placed her down by the bath's edge and leant across to the faucets, turning each and every one of them on before turning back to Lily who blinked, a little confused, up at him. "You need to warm up," He said simply and sternly, not really prepared to take no for an answer. Surprisingly, he was greeted with no complaint and Lily nodded her head a little. Slowly, she started to peel off her sweater, and James took it as his queue to leave the bathroom so to let her undress and bathe and privacy. "I'll be just outside, okay?" He asked quietly, but the question seemed to trigger nothing but a panic in Lily once again.

"No no, please," she whimpered, pleading at him with those eyes which he struggled to say no to even on a good day. Cautiously, he looked towards the door, knowing which would be the option that she would regret least after a proper night's sleep, but knew that he couldn't dare say no to her, not when she was in such a state.

"Are you sure?" He asked tentatively, an eyebrow raised, and she nodded vigorously. James sighed, feeling conflicted. "God, Lily, whatever you were dreaming sure has you rattled." Turning his back to her, James slid his hands into his pockets, giving her at least some degree of privacy so she could undress from her sweat-soaked clothing. He was sure he heard a small whimper escape her lips once again, followed by the rustle of her clothes. James closed his eyes tightly, his ears burning just at the thought of what was occurring behind him.

She mumbled, only just audible enough for James to hear: "Bad ones… Nightmares… You… You … You…" Her voice cracked and she paused, taking a long deep breath as she forced herself not to cry once again. However, as she continued, her facade broke and her eyes welled with tears once more. "Every night. The same dream. You… You're dead," she sobbed. The sound of her cries leads James to spin around and close the distance between them, and he takes Lily in his arms once again. His fingers raked over her bare back, and he hushed her again, holding her close as she buried her face into his chest. Two weeks prior, Lily had been the strong one, acting as James's rock whilst he struggled to keep strong whilst attending the funerals of both his parents. Since, James had been sleeping just as restlessly as Lily, plagued with nightmares of what had happened, and the possibility of losing anyone else from his life. It seemed as thought the funeral was having just as detrimental effect upon Lily, who shuddered desperately once again within his arms.

"Shh, I'm here Lil, I'm here. I'm not going to go die on you any time soon." James pressed his lips to the top of Lily's head, sighing as the red-head hiccoughed. He waited patiently for her to settle, rubbing her back gently all the while, before leading her towards the bathtub and encouraging her to get in once her sniffles had ceased. If he were a better man, perhaps James wouldn't have reacted to her nakedness, but instead he flushed deeply, hand shooting to the back of his neck, rubbing it nervously. "S-sorry," He stammered, focussing his attention instead upon the stain-glass mermaid on the far wall: It's not the first time he's seen her naked, but it's still not something he's quite used to, and there's something about the situation that makes him feel as though he shouldn't really be looking. A little reluctantly, Lily stepped away from James and slipped into the bath, submerging herself up to her neck and sighing at the sensation of warmth spreading through her veins. Sheepishly, she shook her head at James, offering him an awkward half smile. "'S'alright," she mumbled, cheeks flushing slightly to James's great pleasure, more than happy to see the return of some colour to her face.

James watched, a little absent minded, as Lily dipped under the surface, his ears burning once again at the realisation that all that separates them is a layer of bubbles. He shifted awkwardly, hands in his pockets, feeling slightly guilty for his thoughts, given Lily's emotional state. When she finally emerges, James couldn't help but smile down at her at her, his face burning as he watches her push her hair back off her face. "Warming up?" He asked quietly. She nodded and offered him a gentle smile in return. "Feeling any better?" He continued, and she nodded again, although not as confidently this time. "Okay. Good. Do you want me to…" He gestured awkwardly towards the door, running through his messy mop of hair with the other hand.

"No!" Lily cried, her face falling, once again terrified of the idea that James would disappear on her. "I don't want you to go. Stay, please?" She stared up at James with pleading eyes and James felt as if he would melt into the floor. He nodded once again, rocking on the balls of his feet. "Thank you." She sighed, relieved, wading over to the edge of the pool-sized bathtub. Carefully, she folded her arms on the cool tiles and lowered her cheek against them, looking up at James. Resigned to spending as long as he's needed in the bathroom, James peeled off his robe and shoes, lowering himself to the floor and crossing his pajama-clad legs under him. Gingerly, James extended his hand, resting it upon Lily's sodden head and began to run his fingers through her hair softly. A gentle smile crept upon her face and her eyes fluttered closed whilst a gentle moan of appreciation rumbled from her throat.

The two sat in complete silence for several minutes, James's fingers continuing to rake through her long tresses lazily until Lily raised her head, and looked up at James expectantly. "What?" He asked, cocking his head with a smile. She shook her head, mumbling a small '_nothing,_' but it was her cheeks that convinced James otherwise as they begun to burn with colour. Curious, James raised an eyebrow, smirk playing at his lips. "You're a terrible liar, Lily Evans." Lily only flushed harder.

"I was just thinking … You could … I mean it's big enough… and we're, you know …" Lily stammered before biting her lip.

"What're you on about?" He replied curiously, and Lily took a deep breath, her eyebrows cinched in frustration at her inability to get her words out.

"Well, I thought it might be nice if you … I dunno… maybe wanted to join me in here?"

His eyes widened at the proposition and James awkwardly ran his hand through his hair again. It was hardly a question: of course James wanted to share a bath with his deliriously pretty girlfriend, but he couldn't help but wonder whether it was the right thing to do at that moment. Lily hadn't exactly proved herself to be in a solid emotional state that evening, and James most definitely did not want to take advantage of the situation. "Oh, Jeeze, Lily… um… Do you _want_ me to?"

"Yes," Lily replied. "Please?"

Slowly, and a little cautiously, James got to his feet, and he pried his pajamas from his body, face burning under lily's watchful eye. Seeing his blush, Lily found herself smiling a little but forced herself to look away, giving him at least a little of the privacy that he had tried to give her earlier. Carefully, he lowered himself into the warm water and Lily returned her gaze to him with a shy smile. Timidly, Lily pulled away from the bath's edge and James's breath hitched in his chest as his eyes lingered over her. He was relieved that she no longer looked pale, and although she still looked exhausted, James thought she was stunning. Droplets clung to her neck and shoulders; her long hair, soaked through, was thick and dark, streaming down her back whilst the tips floated on the surface, mingling with the bubbles; He couldn't help but smile lopsidedly as he noticed her shoulders littered with tiny little freckles, and he longed to succeed in counting them all one day. His face burned at the realisation he was staring, and he hastily looked away, muttering a quick _'sorry'_. Not having any of it, Lily cupped his cheek with her hand urged him to look at her once more.

"Sorry? Don't be." Lily commented in a whisper. "I'm the one that should be sorry, freaking you out like that back in the common room." James returned his gaze to her and frowned.

"Apologising for nightmares? Don't be daft, Lils… You should have told me about them." She shivered slightly, and shook her head. Worrying James was the last thing that Lily wanted to do, given that the death of his parents was more than enough of a worry for him: She was hardly prepared to burden him further.

"My nightmares hardly seemed like too high of a priority given the scheme of things, lately." Lily smiled sadly. "You've had enough on your plate."

James scoffed, offering Lily an indignant look, moving forward and pushing a tendril of hair off her face. "Even if my plate was overflowing, Lily, I would still make room for you." Taking her hand from his cheek, James kissed her palm, before squeezing gently. "Especially now that you're practically all I've got."

Lily laughed, feeling a little awkward. "That kind of puts my current fears into perspective,"

"Fears? Of losing me?"

Lily nodded, sheepishly. "Here I am positively freaking out over something and I'm not even the one who's lost someone… Christ, I'm an insensitive git…"

James frowned: Of course he was upset over his parent's passing, and it had hit him harder than he had ever anticipated it would, however, it was seeing Lily so worked up over it that was truly upsetting him at that moment. The last thing he wanted was for Lily to be fretting so much over this. "You're not insensitive, Lils. It's fine. You shouldn't worry, though: I'm not going anywhere any time soon," James said.

"Realistically, I know that, but it doesn't make me any less scared. What happened to your parents… It … It could happen to any of us… B-but if it happened to you…" Lily sighed, looking down and occupying her attention with the bubbles, pushing them around with her hand. She bit her lip tightly, but it did little, if anything at all, to stop her eyes lining with tears once again. Pulling his hand out from under the water, James cupped Lily's face, tilting it upwards, and he leaned forwards and kissed her lips lightly.

"Lily," he said, pulling away and staring at her intently. "It'll be okay. We'll finish our NEWTs and we'll see the world; and we'll find a little place somewhere; and we'll get married and have kids and we'll get old, old as balls, Lily." He meant it, too; every single word. James had never admitted the true extent to his feelings: He knew from the get-go that Lily Evans was The One, that there was nobody else for him, and he hoped desperately that she felt that too. Yet, neither of them ever spoke of it, both too worried they would scare off the other. He took a deep breath. "I love you, Evans. You're stuck with me." Lily's mouth fell open slightly, the colour in her cheeks growing ever richer, and James' shoulders relaxed with the sudden release of his feelings. The two stared at each other in silence: Lily in a state of bewilderment and James, who had seemingly forgotten how to breathe as he waited for her response.

"You love me." Lily repeated breathily, eyes a little glassy, and James nodded curtly.

"Yes. And I mean what I said, so you can knock it off with those tears." He said.

"You love me."

"Yes, I believe I said something along those lines."

Her lips twitched into a smile and she giggled a little, carefully moving towards him so she could wrap her arms around his neck. James's breath hitched as she pulled herself closer, letting her body slide up against his. With his hand still at her cheek, he brushed his thumb across her skin, covered in teensy freckles and still coloured an intense red from her blush. All he could think about was how soft she felt, her skin like velvet; how lovely she looked under the dim light, especially when her skin would shimmer as it glistened with moisture. Lily herself was pretty taken with him, too, his muscles taut and skin brown from quidditch, his hair tousled, messier than usual from what was likely several restless hours of bed; his glasses which still sat atop his face, fogging up slightly at the edges. Gently, Lily lifted them from his face, folding them with care, before setting them down at the edge of the bath. Curling her arms around his neck once more, Lily smiled before catching his lips with hers and kissing him fervently.

James groaned deeply, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. The feeling of it all, her soft lips and warm breath upon his face; her fingers lacing through his hair; her bare breasts pressed against his chest; his head was spinning. He kissed her back desperately, his fingers raking up her sides and along her back, sending shivers down her spine. Lily whimpered a little, hands gripping his wet hair as his tongue flicked against hers, and he grinned, a little satisfied that he could elicit such a sound from her. James's hands found her waist and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, drifting forwards in the water until Lily's back rested against the wall of the bath.

His lips found the nape of her neck and James sucked gently, kissing along her collarbone and across her shoulders, causing her to shudder once more, before capturing her lips in another kiss that Lily returned with desperation. Her teeth nipped at his lip, her tongue flicking at it gently, and he groaned again, his hands flying up to Lily's hair. James let his fingers tangle in her long tresses before trailing his hand across her shoulders; down her arms and up again; and across her chest. Lily gasped a little as his fingers brushed against her nipple, and she swallowed, taking a few ragged breaths, Lily stared at him with dark, emerald eyes. His hands kneaded gently, fingertips occasionally sweeping over her nipple, causing Lily to writhe under him.

Lazily, Lily ran her fingernails down James's neck and across his shoulders, biting her lip as she watched him shudder. She gently pressed herself closer into James's palm, heart racing. Her fingers continued, trailing across his chest; his navel; his hips; and Lily gulped, her palm grazing against his erection. A little shakily, Lily wrapped her fingers around his length, leading James to choke out her name breathlessly, and she flushed crimson. James smiled endearingly before leaning forward and kissing her once more. Thumb of one hand caressing Lily's hardened nipple, James let his other lower, and trailed it gently against the smooth skin of her stomach before dipping between her legs, across her soft curls, and he pressed his fingers into her warm folds. Lily's breath hitched, her fingers tightening around him as James slowly started to flick a finger against her swelling mound. His tongue trailed down to her neck once more whilst her free hand clung to his back, fingernails scraping against his skin.

She could do little but whimper, her body shuddering as his fingers found her entrance, thumb still teasing her sensitive flesh; James's head spun each time her grip on him tightened; every time she tugged; every time she moaned or wriggled or gasped. He slid one finger within her, and then two, and she was writhing; James pulled away to watch her, fascinated by each shudder; each flutter of her eyelids; each time her teeth found her lip. She lifted her legs, wrapping them around his waist and rocked her hips against both his own and his hand.

Her eyes found James's and Lily stared, lips parted and panting. He offered her a questioning look, and she nodded, smiling shakily. He withdrew his fingers and Lily lowered herself over him, gasping as he filled her. James's eyes rolled upwards and he hissed, feeling as if his entire body had ignited, and as Lily began to wriggle, his entire body convulsed. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and his found her waist, clinging desperately, and slowly they begun moving against each other. Lily bounced, whimpering, pulling herself up against his chest; James could feel her hot breath against his ear and neck; hear every little gasp or whine or moan, every one of them bringing him closer. He held her tight, thrusting his hips against hers in rhythmic bursts that grew more and more out of sync. She clung to him, her chest pressed against his, desperate to get as close as physically possible to him, still terrified he'll somehow disappear.

Lily shuddered against him, her breath disjointed, hot and sweet against the side of James's face, and James moaned deeply. His hand snaked down and with shaky fingers, James once again rubbed at her mound, an act that caused her to cry in pleasure. Lily's entire body shuddered, her fingernails digging into his back, and with a gasping breath, James's name spilled from her lips in one long, drawn out syllable: The sounds of her orgasm filling the air; the feel of her clinging desperately and the sensation of her hot and tight around him were unbelievable, and unimaginable and all he needed, and he was coming, unable to do much but embrace her, holding her tight, and stammer her name over and over and over.

She pressed her lips to his cheek, then his temple, then his forehead; nose; lips; kissing him deeply, showing him exactly just how much she loves him because she can't quite put it into words. His fingers raked gently up and down her wet back, and her fingers entangled in his hair. She pulled away and James smiles, lopsided and dazed. Lily knows that he meant what he said earlier, and she smiled back, doing her best to push away her fears. Yawning deeply, Lily lowered her head to James's shoulder and he chuckled a little. "Tired you out, did I?" He joked, laughing a little harder as she swatted at him lightly. Carrying her to the bath edge, James sets her up on it carefully, smiling wider at the sight of her before telling her to get dry; she obliges him and dresses, and after making his way out of the enormous bath, James did the same.

Hands clasped, they walked back to Gryffindor tower in silence, Lily feeling considerably more at ease than she felt on the trip there. James mumbled the password to the Fat Lady, who obliged and swung aside, and he led Lily inside. She smiled graciously, pulling herself up to him closely, and hugged him tight.

"Would it be alright if I… um… sleep with you tonight?" She asked sheepishly, looking up at James with big, hopeful eyes. He could tell that she's worried about yet another nightmare, and so rather than making a joke that they already _had_ slept together that evening, he nodded and led her up the staircase towards his dormitory. Silently, James pushed the door open, relieved to hear the rest of his dormmates snoring blissfully, before pulling Lily to his bed. He set his wand and glasses aside and crawled into the bed, shifting so Lily would be able to lie comfortably beside him, and she followed suit, curling into him with a wistful sigh. James stroked her hair gently, holding her close to him, and listened attentively to her breathing which quickly fell into a lulling rhythm, a night of dreamless sleep ahead of her.

"G'night, love," he murmured, pressing his lips to the top of her head before closing his eyes and following her into slumber.


End file.
